Let us touch the dying, the poor, the lonely and the unwanted
according to the graces we have received and let us not be ashamed or
slow to do the humble work.

- Mother Teresa

About Me

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Sunny Florida, United States
I am the proud mom to 6 kids: Natasha, 24, Nikolai, 20, Reese, 20, Maylee, 14, Erik, 10 and Violet, 7. The kids come from Russia, Ukraine and China; I'm so proud of my family sometimes I think I'll burst and I needed an outlet for it - so I've created this weblog. :o)
If you can't feed a hundred people, then feed just one.
- Mother Teresa

Motivation for Moms

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One of the greatest diseases is to be nobody to anybody.
Mother Teresa

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Sunday, April 19, 2009

Being part of a wonderful, loving, supportive adoption support group (specializing in Down Syndrome adoption), I have come to know many soon-to-be moms. They, like me (and Mark) feel called to adoption, particularly international adoption. Certainly there is a great need for adoption and foster care in this country, but anyone who dares look outside of our own very comfortable, safe country can see that the need is absolutely ENORMOUS. Children in the USA are fed, educated, put into foster homes (though admittedly many foster homes are horrible) and given a chance at life. They are even given college scholarships simply because they are foster children. Not bad! True, they need love, they need parents, they need stability and a family of their own, but when I see kids in other countries, they don't have all of these creature comforts. An i-pod? What the heck is that? Water and ice in the refrigerator door? Say what? Hot water whenever you want it? A pure luxury. Forget an education and a family to go to on holidays!

These kids are shunned, kept away from society. Special needs kids are considered punishment, God's wrath for sin committed by the parent(s), and often don't survive past childhood. When healthy kids age out of the System, they are given one month's living expenses and one month's rent on an apt. From there, they are totally on their own. Trouble is, they are labeled "orphan", and I believe that label is even stamped in their passport (like our driver's license), and this keeps them from getting jobs, apartments, etc. and they are treated without any respect at all. Kind of hard to live a fulfilling life, isn't it?

THEREFORE, many people who are aware of the plight of foreign orphans feel led by God to adopt them and "rescue" them. Is it wrong to feel like we are "rescuing" children? We are, in fact, doing just that, but is it wrong to state that? Or to think it? Or to remind the child from where he/she came someday (especially during the rebellious teenage years when they think that they are so abused when they have their cell phones taken away for 2 days for discipline for some infraction)?

Once I was berated and absolutely dressed down by a woman who was herself, adopted (though domestic, and as an infant). She told me in no uncertain terms that I should NEVER think that I "saved" my 3 children and I should NEVER expect them to be grateful or to be reminded of their past. She flew off the handle, being extremely defensive of adoption, and assuming that I told my kids daily, "You'd better love me. Look how I saved you from a life of hell!!" Ridiculous. Especially coming from a woman who knows one of my children very well and has a strong influence on her, and this feeds into my daughter's anger towards me.

Instead, I wrote her back and told her yes, that they should be grateful to me. I'm grateful to my own mom (I'm not adopted). I'm grateful that she didn't abort me. I'm grateful that she loved on me so dearly (especially when I was small). I'm grateful for all of the sacrifices that she made for me and for making me such a priority in her life, even when times were extremely tough. I'm grateful for her wonderful friendship. Yes, I'm grateful to her, and I'd like it if my children were grateful to me. No, I don't remind them of their past very often at all. They know where they came from. Yes, we discuss it when the situation arises. Mainly, I try to teach them to be grateful to God the Father who saved them, for without Him, I wouldn't have felt led to get them in the first place!! This is not something she is able to understand, apparently, and it's unfortunate for her.

So, are we "rescuing" Simon? Yes, we certainly are!! For without us, he would surely die within a year, as he is due to be transferred to an institution where he will get far less than even minimal care. Children there rarely live more than several months after transfer from the Baby Home. (Nikolai was strong and survived until I got him at age 9 from the institution he was in. He was skeletal when I got him, but he made it, thank God!) So yes, we are certainly saving his life. But God is the one who deserves the "credit"!! He is the one who pointed the finger straight at Simon's nose when my husband was browsing through the kids' pictures, and said straight to my husband's heart, "HIM. Get HIM!" and my husband obeyed.

So yes, we are rescuing Simon, just as I rescued Natasha, Nikolai and Reese. But I am not to be given the glory. God is. Without God, none of these kids would be here, and neither boy would probably be alive. I shudder to think of what Natasha's life would have been like had she stayed in Russia and become a "street kid" at age 16. Though my heart is absolutely crushed beyond measure that she does not wish to be a part of us right now, I am overjoyed that I was able to be the one chosen by God to give her a family, a name and a life.

Yes, they have been rescued, but I am only the "worker bee", being used divinely by Almighty God. Let's leave the judgements up to Him.


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If you want happiness for an hour, take a nap.
If you want happiness for a day, go fishing.
If you want happiness for a year, inherit a fortune.
If you want happiness for a lifetime, help somebody.
- Chinese proverb
It is not the will of your Father that any one of these little ones should perish. Matt. 18:14

Whoever welcomes a little child like this in my name welcomes me. Matt. 18:5

Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

My family

My family
Nikolai, Mark, Missy, Reese, and Erik

Nikolai, 19

Nikolai, 19

Reese, 19

Reese, 19

Erik, 9

Erik, 9





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