Yesterday, Mark took Erik to Arnold Palmer Children's in Orlando for a swallowing test. The test itself was no big deal, but he was not allowed to eat after midnight before it. They had to arrive at 9, but the test was at 10, but they didn't get in until 11...

Now, poor little Erik had to go 18 hours without food. If you know him, you'll know that Erik lives to eat. The boy will eat anything!! I hardly EVER give him junk food because he simply is happy eating anything, so I give him healthy stuff (am I lucky, or what?!). He just simply EATS. He is still tiny, 33 pounds at 7 years old, but he IS growing, that is sure!! It's like his tiny little body simply can't get enough in its rush to get him to grow and fill in whatever "nutritional holes" there still are inside. He lives to eat.

So 18 hours without food for him, is a lifetime. Mark told me that the closer time got to his test (the longer the time without food), the harder of a time he had. He said he simply "shut down". He said he kind of sat slumped in his chair, eyes half closed, head tilted to one side, and he had a look of hopelessness, the same kind of look that we saw in the orphanage. A look of having given up hope. It was like he was remembering how he felt when he lived in constant hunger in the orphanage, and the loneliness and hopelessness he must have felt. The hunger apparently triggered this. Is that not the saddest thing you've heard??

Once the test got started though, he apparently snapped out of it and the barium they gave him to swallow got guzzled down with great enthusiasm (much to the delight of the SLP's, I'm sure!!!) though no doubt it tasted horrible!!

It surprised me though, to think that deep in the recesses of his brain, he still remembers the orphanage and the hunger and the feelings that he had. It breaks my heart to think that he suffered in ANY way. :'o(

Of course, as soon as they were done, Mark took him to an Italian restaurant (Italian's his favorite) and he INHALED a MASSIVE plate of spaghetti. :o) Good as new!!

Next week he has another procedure, sedated this time, but it starts at 6:30am so he won't have to go NEARLY as long without food.

My poor little pumpkin. Behind that silly, happy enthusiasm for everything life has to offer, lies a tiny little boy in an orphanage who lived a miserable existence, struggling to survive each day. Let's hope we can keep that little boy hidden away until he no longer re-emerges.

Say a prayer today for all of the millions of little boys and girls still wasting away in orphanages, hungry and hopeless, who will never have a huge bowl of spaghetti ready to take away the nagging, hungry feeling, that never ends.