Well, I'm off to a pretty good start. Tried an "energy" thing yesterday that only made me sick, so I skipped lunch, though I drove right past my VERY FAVORITE sandwich shop (honestly, their food isn't bad - I get sweet potato fries with a 6" whole wheat hot (and veeeery moist and juicy) chicken sandwich with only cooked onions and cheese on it). Got a good jump on shrinking the old stomach right there.

Last night, I had Mom's modified BBQ bean casserole (with turkey instead of beef and with wheat germ and milled flax seed added in - shhhh!), which was delicious. Today, I had something new I'm trying, and I did choke it down. It's called "Raw", I think, and is organic multigrain hot cereal (has whole grain wheat, flax, wheat germ, and some other kind of grass in it). I added blueberries and Truvia sweetener. I ate it, but that is about all I'll say about that.

I bought some baby carrots for munchies for my day in the car, and also some cheddar cheese rice cakes to soothe my "gotta have SOME kind of junk" craving. I also got some Acai juice to bring with me to start my day (rather than a diet Coke, though I'm sure I'll end up with one of those - that is the hardest thing I have to give up!!).

So so far, so good...

Thanks to Mom and my veeeeeery good and valued friend Faith for the encouragement! I'll need lots of it!

P.S. I'll also join the Biggest Loser Club and hope to start my walks with Mary tonight. There is a nearby Baptist church that has a fitness room that is offered to anyone free of charge, but their hours aren't that great and when I peeked in there a year or two ago it didn't look too well stocked, but I'll check it out again. Until I can afford a treadmill and/or some kind of weight machine, I have to be satisfied with what I've got! :o)

...and Rocky IV didn't need any kind of fancy weight room, did he? Heck no. The old boy simply pulled carts in the snow and chopped wood to get in shape!!

I know it better than anyone: there's too much of me. Too much softness, too much roundness, too much chunk. I'm overweight. By a lot. I think life gets soooooo busy sometimes (and often pretty stressful, like everyone's lives) that I just simply put it off. One big excuse that I've used lately is, "I'll wait until the older boys leave home cause it's impossible to lose weight with kids at home."

Heck, I know how to lose weight, cause I've done it in the past. Around the time Natasha came home from Russia, I'd lost 90 pounds. Of course, after that time, I slowly put it all back on (kids'll do that to you!), disgusting myself.

It's all in my head. I know that I'm too big, and I know how damaging it is/can be. I know how to get it off. I am a physical therapist, for pete's sake! I KNOW how important exercise is for me!! I've just gotten lazy, and started emotional eating, which really isn't how I got here, but it's what has kept me here.

On that looooooong 25 hour drive home from Iowa, with quiet Nikolai in the car, I had a LOT of time to think, and I've come to some interesting conclusions that I thought I'd share. I plan to reread these frequently and hope they help. So, in no particular order, here are my ponderings from the highways of the southeast of the US:

1. It's okay to be hungry! It's not pain, and it can go away at any time I choose. It is not permanent, and isn't damaging. It's just simply uncomfortable - trying to NEVER be hungry is causing this problem and it's stupid.
2. Food will NOT disappear, despite what the the "food insurance" folks say. That doughnut in 7-11 that is staring at me will be still be there tomorrow!!! (Or a replacement one will, anyway!) It is NOT the last chance I will have to eat a doughnut (even an apple fritter, which are my favorites). Food is plentiful in this country and I don't need to panic that I will be deprived and go without. Food WILL be replenished, for goodness' sake! If I don't eat it, that's OKAY! It will be there again tomorrow, and the next day and the next! I don't need to fill up so full at meals, for the same reason.
3. Exercise: this is something I know a LOT about, due to my profession, but I am a hypocrite when I tell my patients how important it is. If it was so important, why don't I do more of it?? Yes, time is an issue, as it is with everyone (especially working moms), but that's just too bad. I multitask in every other area of my life, but I can't multitask with exercise? That's stupid. I know how important it is. I can feel it, now that I've reached a certain birthday and things are starting to change inside. It stinks!
4. Exercise is never wasted, as I tell my patients. If I'm consistent, IT WILL HELP. The thing is to be consistent!! I know what to do and I know how to do it and why. I just simply need to convince my lazy self that I NEED TO DO IT!! So what if it's too hot in FL to walk? I'll take Mary for walks in the morning before work - that way I can take my shower at the same time as always and I can't use the excuse that it's a pain to clean up after exercising cause it won't be. She would LOVE it if I started walking her (Daisy too!!) and it would be SO good for me. Shoot, I might even start taking little jogs (ha!). I do wish I had a human partner to go with us, though... I know that would help a great deal and be very motivating.

I KNOW how to lose weight. I just simply need the motivation, support and to get my head in the game, cause with me, it's all in my head. I CAN DO THIS.

I haven't been out of FL (in the Continental U.S.) in 5 years, which is amazing for me, one who thrives on travel! The last time I went north, I went to IA for a quick trip on Mother's Day to see my mom (who was visiting from Seattle) and my Gram, and other relatives. It was a quick trip. I actually don't remember much about it because it involved some very stressful dealings with and about, my daughter.

Before that, we had moved from this small town to FL. We lived for 4 years in a small town in central IA near my Gram, my aunt and uncle and a cousin with her kids. My other grandmother lived nearby and another aunt and uncle also lived in a nearby town.

It was nice, but I hated it. I hated the snow and endless winters. I hated the lack of privacy (especially when one of my kids started having some severe behavioral issues, which is probably the main reason that we left). I hated living in an ancient house that never got warm enough in winter. I hated being bored all the time. I hated the lack of shopping. I hated the lack of competition, as there was pretty much just one of every industry here. I hated the lack of culture, as I wanted to bring my kids up exposed to much variety, and a much wider world. I hated the boring landscape, with endless farmland, stretching into eternity.

But, having lived in FL for the last 6 1/2 years now, and being back in the Midwest after all this time, I am seeing this area with new eyes:

I see how soft the green grass is. I see how tidy everyone keeps their houses in town and in the country. I wave at people walking through town, and marvel at how safe it is here. I see the big, fat trees, loaded down with emerald leaves. I see the simplicity with which people enjoy life here, as tractors roll down Main St. during the Fourth of July parade amidst much excitement. I love how my kids can go wherever they want in town, and I know they are okay. I smile as I drive past white houses with flowers in flowerbeds growing on sloped front lawns.

The town that I loved so dearly as a child but learned to resent as an adult is now dear to my heart once again. Things are different now, and sure, it is beautiful summertime here now, but the pain from the stresses that plagued me during those years have mostly healed now, and I am more mature. Moving to FL was the right thing to do, and it is still my home that I love greatly, but I can better appreciate the town where my familial roots run so deep.

And I love it once again.

Somehow, I ended up without any patients today! Very strange, considering I've been busy all week, even with 8 patients yesterday (my max)! It is what it is, so I decided to enjoy the unexpected day off. :o)

I took Erik to the beach!!

NIkolai was volunteering at the SPCA (he likes the cat building best), Reese was studying, furiously trying to get his online classes finished and studying for tonight's last final exam at the community college, and Mark just isn't a beachgoing kind of guy, so it was just my little buddy and me!!

It was a beautiful day to go to the beach (albeit HOT HOT HOT!!) and the crowds were very low, it being a Thursday late morning, so even though we forgot the beach bag with all of Erik's toys in it we had a great time! Erik really knows how to enjoy himself, it is true: he just had a ball. We didn't do much "laying out", per my original plan, but instead spent most of the time at surf's edge, either walking along, or sitting and ...well, flapping. Erik likes to "flap". ;op

Ah, living in Florida does have its perks.

I haven't blogged for quite awhile! I think I have gotten lazy because I tell most of my stories and share most of my pictures on facebook. There are those people that I wish to keep my life away from (you know who you are if you are reading this!) and with facebook I can control things a little better. And, like I said, I just have gotten lazy. ;op Things are pretty calm around here anyway.

BUT! Life with Erik is never calm and so I can always write about him! I think most of my readers are mainly interested in reading about him, anyway. lol

Erik has been showing some progress lately. Those of you who know us mainly by Internet don't probably realize that Erik is actually really low functioning. I'm just good at getting photos of him looking like he is not. I don't mean to say this in a negative way, it's just a fact. I read about other people's kids with DS who are adopted from overseas and I'm amazed at how well they do!! Even kids who are just adopted are often walking, giving hugs, playing with toys, signing, etc. Erik was 5 when we got him and he didn't do these things for months - in fact, he just in the last month or so started giving real hugs...! He plays with toys, but not like other kids do - he mostly "flaps" them or sucks on them. His favorite toys are ones that light up and play music, and he enjoys simply listening to the music. His other favorite toys are straps with a buckle on the end, and he shakes it, making it waggle - he can do this for hours! He also only knows 2 - 3 signs, when I read of so many of his "peers" who know well over 100.

Erik IS a total love, though, and simply can't get enough attention to suit him, and that's totally COOL. :o) He does love his family! He's fun to play with, and a real riot. Still, it gets a little frustrating sometimes that he is so low functioning and the boys (especially Reese) would like to be able to play with him in a more meaningful way.

HOWEVER! Lately, he seems to be coming out of it a little bit more. If you didn't know him, you wouldn't realize what a big deal some of these things are that he's been doing lately, like:

Yesterday, he was playing in his little blow-up outdoor baby pool. He LOVES playing in this and can do so for hours (he loooooves water). Well, before I could get the hose turned on, I walked around the side of the house. When I came back, he had the hose and was putting it in the pool, in anticipation of the water coming out and filling it up! I couldn't believe it.

Also yesterday, he got out of the car by himself!! I had only worked with him 5 or 6 times in sliding out of his car seat, holding onto the door of the car, putting his feet here and there to step down, and lowering himself to the ground. He did it!! He actually got himself out of the car (minus opening the door and unbuckling, of course)!!

He also is improving on eating. He doesn't "choke" as much (it's not really choking, as the food gets stuck in his esophagus and not his trachea, as he takes too big of bites and doesn't chew it thoroughly). Last night, he even at a whole hot dog by biting off pieces (as I held it) and chewing it and swallowing it! Normally, I would cut the hot dog in tiny pieces and give him the bun separately. He loved the whole thing, and got so excited to bite the hot dog in the regular way!

One more thing: yesterday after supper, I called him to follow me in his room so he could get "changed". Instead, he stood at the bathroom door. I called him again; again, by the bathroom door. So I thought, "Why not?" His potty training has hit a stand-still the last 2 weeks or so and it's been hard to stay motivated training him, but I knew that I needed to keep on, so I put him on the potty. His diaper was dry and sure enough, he peed on the potty!! I couldn't believe it.

So why this improvement in orientation/participation?? I don't know. I DO KNOW that I've started giving him Gingko Biloba, about 5 times a week, and I hear this really helps kids with Down's. Don't know if that's what's helping or not, but I'm sure going to keep it up!!! If anyone knows anything about GB and wants to give me tips or warnings or anything, please do!!

Right now, we are just enjoying this newer "clear head" of Erik's and hope it continues! :o) It's hard when it looks like he's spaced out so much, and so much fun when he actually THINKS about things! :o) We're having fun.

Several years ago, we went shark fishing on Nikolai's birthday. It was a night trip, and unfortunately, he wore a tank top. He froze, was seasick and was the only one onboard that did not catch a shark. Poor kid! Trying to make up for that disaster, I (Reese did not go this time) took him on another fishing trip for his birthday - this time, a day trip, fishing for deep sea fish! Our boat left out of Port Canaveral, the same place where the cruise ships are, and it was fun to see 3 of them lined up, and we even got to watch a HUGE Carnival ship leaving as we were coming back after our trip. A guy from another building next door to our dock shouted, "HEY!!!" at the passengers on the ship, and it was SO COOL, hearing all of the waves of "HEY!!!" in response! What fun! It was kinda like the show "Love Boat", when they left port, only no one threw confetti. They just shouted. (lol)




Here's Nik, waiting with the other passengers. It didn't take long for almost everyone to go either inside, or up on the top deck, leaving us with the place almost to ourselves!

It being World Down Syndrome Day today, I wanted to brag a bit about my own little slice of Down Syndrome heaven: my little boy Erik! I want to share 21 things about him because his little extra chromosome is on the 21st set of chromosomes and that little extra one is what makes him special. :o)

1. He's so stinkin' cute!
2. His little laugh is contagious.
   
3. Any kid who wears glasses is automatically cute.
4. He says, "La la la" like no one else.
5. He loves to cuddle with me on the bed and watch TV, lying his head against mine.
6. He loves his family, especially his big brother Reese!
7. He talks to his babydolls (sorry, Markie!).
8. He is VERY easygoing and will go with you and do anything you want to do, willingly.
9. If he gets mad, he gets over it in about 2 seconds.
10. He's got a FABULOUS smile!
11. He loves stuffed animals.
12. He loooooooves music!!
    
13. His daddy would say that he loves classical music best, and yes, it is true!
14. His little toes are precious.
15. He loves, loves, loves to look at books, which his mama loves!
16. He loves kisses and hugs.
17. He's very squooshy and cuddly.
18. He has more fun in the bathtub than his best day at Disney or Universal Studios.
19. He is gentle with the dogs, even if he lets them lick inside his mouth.
20. He enjoys school, and eagerly meets the bus each day.
21. He was made in the image of God.